5 Ways I Overcame My Compulsive Shopping Addiction

And how I'm becoming an intentional shopper.

After many years of compulsive shopping in search of the perfect wardrobe, NOT SHOPPING has been the real path there!

At this point, I don’t think it’ll surprise many that I used to have a compulsive shopping problem. And after A LOT of years of work and many successes AND failures, I want to share the top 5 things that have helped me finally become an intentional shopper.

* I’m not going to include my no buy year in this list as a standalone item, but I will be including certain things that I implemented because of the no buy year that were, and continue to be, a huge help.

And although I’m currently participating in a low buy year as another step in this journey, I can confidently say that a major shift has occurred in my mindset around shopping, and I can attribute that to these 5 things:

1. Building Confidence

When we have a compulsive shopping problem, we become resigned to the fact that we’re shopaholics and we’re never going to change. We have so little confidence in ourselves and our ability to not shop that it feels pointless to try. And when we do try, we often fail. But what we don’t realize is that all of those failures build us up and eventually, we can get to the point where we succeed!

Before deciding to do a no buy year back in October 2023, I thought that I was destined to struggle with compulsive shopping forever. While I could go short periods of time without purchasing something, I would always find myself drawn back to a thrift shop where I would binge buy a bunch of clothing that I didn’t need.

I thought that a no buy year would be the answer to all of my shopping woes. But for me, it wasn’t, which I realized when the year was over and I found myself once again drawn back to thrift stores and binge buying a bunch of clothes that I didn’t need.

However, I’m so happy that I did the no buy year because it gave me the confidence to know that I could go without shopping.

So when I felt myself rebounding after the no buy year, I had confidence in myself that I could turn the ship back around.

Do I think you have to do a no buy year to develop this confidence? I don’t. And I wasn’t expecting this to be the big takeaway from my no buy, but I think it’s helpful to do no buy periods (of whatever length) in order to build this confidence.

2. Resisting Shopping Temptation

If you want to stop shopping, you have to remove the triggers that make you want to shop.

You can’t miss out on the things that you don’t know about.

Do you find yourself purchasing things on TikTok or Instagram? Or are you constantly searching for the things that your favorite creator is wearing on YouTube? Maybe you can’t pass a shop without going in and buying something? Are online shopping sites your weakness?

If you nodded along to any of these, then:

• Take a break from social media and find something else to do in place of scrolling, or unfollow people who make you want to shop.

• Unsubscribe from YouTube channels that have you pausing the video to go and search for an item.

• Remove all of the shopping apps from your phone and delete all your shopping favorites/wishlists on your computer.

• Unsubscribe from marketing emails that are designed to make you purchase stuff.

• Make a decision to stay away from physical stores.

If this list seems super specific, it’s because these are the things that I did during my no buy year to limit my desire to shop. And they worked.

I cut out Instagram, I unsubscribed to the YouTube channels of creators whose style I loved and constantly had me searching for the items they were wearing, I removed shopping apps from my phone and deleted all of the wishlists on my computer. I unsubscribed from marketing emails and I decided to stay away from physical shops, with thrift shops being at the very top of the list!

And while I have reintroduced all of these things back into my life, I’ve done so slowly and with a lot of intention. And I notice that they don’t have the same effect or hold the same power over me as they once did. I feel like I’m the one guiding this ship now!

3. Finding an Emotional Outlet to Replace Shopping

If you’re someone that’s an emotional shopper (you shop when you’re bored, sad, happy, etc.), it’s super important to have something else to funnel those emotions into.

For me, journaling was a huge catalyst to the success of my no buy year, especially at the beginning when I was trying to develop an “I’m not a shopper” mindset. I didn’t continue with it over the entire year but it was a great tool during the time that I needed it the most.

Other emotional outlets could include:

• Talking with a therapist or having an accountability partner or a loved one that you can talk to when you feel the urge to shop.

• Creative activities such as writing, sewing, knitting, or painting can help take your mind off shopping.

• Reading or learning a new skill can be a great use of the time that you used to spend shopping.

• Practicing mindfulness/meditation can help you process your feelings around shopping.

• Practicing gratitude is a great way to appreciate the things that are great in your life or the things that you already own.

• Exercising or spending time outside can be a healthy way to release stress and also improve your mood.

4. Shop Your Wardrobe

This has the added benefit of allowing you to really hone in on your personal style without spending a dime.

I truly believe that the answer to finding our personal style lies in the clothes that we have already bought - we don’t have to look far to find our purchasing successes/failure. Simply taking a few minutes to identify the things that we truly love AND wear, as well as identifying those items that we don’t, can give us so much information!

Make a commitment to exclusively shop your wardrobe for a period of time - experiment with your clothes, come up with new ways to wear your old things, declutter the things that you don’t feel great in (or store them away if you’d rather), do wardrobe challenges (wear all of your sweaters without repeating, repeat one item from the day before, try a 10x10 capsule wardrobe, etc.)

Or grab a drink, put on a playlist and spend a few spare minutes in your wardrobe some evening trying on outfits for the upcoming week, or for some event that you have in the future. When you hit on a combination that you love, take a selfie to save in your photos so that you can refer back to it.

I took these photos on October 9 - I was trying on outfits for an upcoming event. I tried wearing an old chain belt with a rhinestone flower as a necklace and I loved how it turned out. I added slouchy socks with my loafers and I borrowed a cute little bag from my daughter, who at 13, already has better taste than I do :) I didn’t end up wearing it but I had a lot of fun putting this look together!

5. A Low Buy Year

As shopaholics, we balk at limits. We have been so conditioned to want more - we crave it! Quantity is king and a good sale is our North Star.

If my no buy year taught me how to not shop, my low buy year is teaching me how to shop intentionally. It’s teaching me that I’m someone who needs limitations, who actually enjoys limitations, and I’m finding that I’m okay with that.

For a long time, I wanted to be someone who could freely shop and feel like it wasn’t a problem for me. But I’m actually finding that limiting myself to 25 purchases this year (roughly 2 purchases/month) is bringing the joy back into shopping, but in a way where I feel in control.

And it’s bringing back the things that I enjoy about shopping - the inspiration, the wishlists, and yes, the ability to actually buy something - but in a way that feels sustainable, like I could see this being a useful way to shop going forward.

---

If you are currently struggling with a compulsive shopping addiction, or if you simply want to decrease the amount that you buy, I hope that you find these tips useful! And remember that you are not alone and that while changing your behavior may seem hard, and it takes time, you can totally do it 🖤

And if you have overcome a shopping addiction, or are currently working towards controlling your shopping habits, I’d love to hear any tips that have helped you!

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a like and consider sharing it so it can reach more people who might need it 🫶🏻

Thanks for reading! xx Gillian