I built a wardrobe based on external validation. Now I’m dismantling it.

It’s time.

When you buy clothes (or whatever it is that you feel you overspend on), what is your motivation? Are you replacing something that has worn out or no longer fits? Are you buying them for the dopamine rush of acquiring something new? Do you shop because you’re bored? Are you wanting to be on-trend? Or, perhaps you buy them for the reaction they elicit from others?

I can certainly point to every single one of these as a reason that I’ve acquired clothing (my overconsumption of choice) in the past, and much more of it than I have ever actually needed.

When I started my blog in 2018, I wanted a place to document my experience with minimalism, which I’d discovered in 2015 after becoming overwhelmed by all of our stuff. It ended up being exactly what I’d needed and I wanted to encourage others to remove unnecessary items and commitments from their lives.

Everything I’d read about starting a blog recommended starting an Instagram account to promote the blog, so I did.

A part of my minimalist journey up to this point had included capsule wardrobes (particularly Project 333, developed by Courtney Carver) and I eventually ended up on the capsule wardrobe side of IG, namely the 10x10 capsule wardrobe challenge, where people were posting about styling 10 items for 10 days (this was created by Lee Vosburgh and Caroline Joy). The community was so welcoming and I felt so creative, and I got a lot of positive feedback (aka followers and comments). But the positive validation that I received caused me to solely focus on my wardrobe, which in hindsight, was the area that I had been trying to move away from the most when I found minimalism.

And because of how I’d pigeon-holed myself, or “niched down”, posting about anything other than clothes just never really resonated, which led to me feeling defeated and going back to focusing on my wardrobe. But the thing about always focusing on my wardrobe is that I was always trying to optimize it. I was always trying to build the “perfect wardrobe”. I was constantly replacing items that had been fine before. And too many times, that wardrobe ended up being the perfect wardrobe for other people - the one that got me the most external validation.

And I don’t mean to say that I haven’t enjoyed the clothing that I’ve bought over the past 8 years. I definitely have, but I’ve decluttered the vast majority of it. And I acknowledge that my style had probably changed quite a few times over that period but I can also admit that there were a lot of items that I bought because I knew they’d get a positive reaction on IG, or I felt the need to have something new to show, especially when it felt like people were getting tired of seeing certain things (less engagement).

I’ve even done that on here. Maybe to a lesser extent, but I did it all the same. I don’t think I was fully aware of it for a long time but it become very apparent to me recently and I think it’s the reason I’ve been so quiet on here for the past couple of months.