The end of a year-a: My NO BUY YEAR is OVER!!!

It wasn't always easy, but nothing worth it ever is.

I started this letter on October 14, 2024.

It was early morning. I had just put a load of laundry in the washing machine and wiped down the kitchen counters before making myself a cup of tea. I could hear the tv in the basement and the sound of my husband’s feet thump-thumping on the treadmill. I let Odin out on the deck, which is his favorite place to be now that the mornings are much cooler.

A typical Monday morning, except that my kids didn’t have school.

And my no buy year was officially over!

I had planned to publish this letter by Wednesday of that same week at the latest, but something kept holding me back. It was probably laziness but I’d like to think that I wanted to see how I would react to the end of something that was pretty monumental in my life. It’s strange to look forward to the end of something but then once it happens, it just feels anticlimactic.

I’d had a sort of countdown going on in my head for the last 10 days of the challenge. A few times over those days, I’d mentioned to my husband or kids that my no buy year was coming to an end. On the Saturday before, after my daughter and I went to our favorite cafe for breakfast, we went to a local department store to look around. I commented to her as we looked at earrings that I could actually buy something the next time that we were there since my no buy year was ending in a few days. I commented to my husband as I climbed into bed on the last night of the challenge that my no buy year was ending in the morning.

And once that moment had finally come, I felt free and reckless at the same time.

When I started this challenge, I had just gone through a period of buying a lot of clothes and I was afraid that I was slipping back into bad shopping habits. After a year of analyzing this particular moment, I no longer think I was in danger of that happening. In my last newsletter, I mentioned how I now feel that I’ve been “cured” of my shopping addiction for a long time, but I think I needed this challenge to fully realize it, to forgive myself and move on.

I feel like I can close the door on that chapter of my life and look towards new chapters.

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I’ve thought about this letter for a very long time, and I’ve tried to imagine what I would write. Honestly, I’ve been having a hard time organizing my thoughts around it. There’s only so many things that I can say about it and I feel like I’ve already said most of them in previous letters:

No Buy Year. 10.14.23

No Buy Year Update - Month #1 11.11.23

No Buy Year Update - Month #2 12.17.23

No Buy Year {100 DAYS COMPLETE} 1.21.24

10 Months of a No Buy Year. 8.14.24

A few thoughts on my No Buy Year... 10.5.24

The format that I’ve landed on is a Q&A. A few of you left some questions in the comment section of my last post (thank you!) and I’ve come up with a few myself that I’d want to ask someone else who had completed their No Buy Year Challenge. I also asked my kids to give me a few questions.

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Are you happy that you did it?

I am extremely happy that I decided to do the challenge. Maybe I didn’t always feel that way because it didn’t always feel good, but overall, it was a very positive experience.

There were times that I thought about quitting, especially when other parts of my life were emotionally hard, like when we lost one of our dogs in July. But not being able to numb the grief with shopping (which I would have definitely done without the challenge) helped me process the loss in a way that felt healthy to me.

I also feel like this past year has given me a newfound confidence in myself. When I started this challenge, the longest that I had gone without shopping was 1 month and that had been difficult. I had a lot of moments of doubt over the past year but I just took the challenge one day at a time and tried to shift my focus to improving other areas of my life.

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Did you save any money?

I didn’t really save any money with this challenge. I think that I simply replaced clothes shopping with other experiences, like taking my daughter out on Saturday morning for breakfast instead of thrifting.

Saving money hadn’t been a major goal of mine: before the challenge, I had a small “fun money” budget for monthly purchases that were for my entertainment. I continued to use this budget to fund experiences instead of buying clothes. I also used it to purchase consumables that brought me joy such as takeout coffee and the occasional sweet treat or bouquet of flowers.

Now that the no buy year is over and clothes shopping is back on the table, I expect there to be a bit of an adjustment period. I will have to learn how to balance the cost of the experiences that I want to keep with any clothing purchases I make.

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What was the biggest takeaway from the challenge?

I realized that I’ve been using restrictions as a way to punish myself for past behaviors. I’ve always had a fear that I would fall back into old shopping behaviors but I now realize that I approach shopping in an entirely different way and have for quite some time. The no buy year allowed me to take a good look at my past behavior and how much I’ve grown and changed over the past (almost) decade!

I’ve done a lot of self-reflection over the past year and I feel like I’ve gotten to the point where I can forgive myself for the shopping addiction and the debt that I accumulated because of it. And I can recognize that I’ve made some positive changes to my shopping behavior and how I handle money.

I feel ready to move on from that part of my identity and enjoy my clothing again. My clothes have always been a huge part of my identity and a source of joy for me, which is something that got buried under all the shame I used to feel. I want to get back to enjoying clothing and feeling creative with outfits again.

A part of that is ignoring all the “narratives” around clothing. I was happiest with my wardrobe when I didn’t really think about it, when I just went by how an outfit “felt”.

I get that color analysis and personal style descriptors can be helpful to some people, but I think they stifle my creativity and enjoyment of clothes. I want to wear all the colors (some will look better on me than others and that’s fine) and I want to wear all the styles.

I don’t want my personal style to fit into a neat little box, I want it to be a reflection of my actual personality. Which is honestly a little messy, a little undone.

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Did you buy anything that was allowed? Did you break any of your rules?

My shopping issues have always revolved around clothing. I’ve never been into experimenting with skincare or haircare - I’ve struggled with acne since puberty so once I found products that worked for my skin, I never really strayed. The same goes for hair - I have a few products that I use consistently and have no desire to try others. I’m also not interested in home decor - I have a collection of furniture and accessories (mostly vintage and secondhand) that I love and very rarely add to it.

But clothing and accessories are my weakness. I recognize now that it’s how I’ve always expressed my creativity. All of my hobbies have centered around clothing and accessories - jewelry making, blogging, and sewing.

So clothing is what I primarily focused on for my no buy year. It wouldn’t have been realistic for me to extend the challenge to other areas of my life. Anything related to my family life was never going to be included, so I made allowances for consumables, experiences and home improvement projects.

This section is going to be a little long as I break down each of my rules and how it turned out.

To reiterate, here were the rules for my no buy year:

So, how did I do with these rules:

First up: “The items I’m not buying for the next year”

1. I did not buy any clothing, new or preloved to wear during the past year. I pretty much avoided any shops in the first few months and I didn’t look at things on my phone either. Eventually, I got to the point where I could go into shops, look at things and not want to buy them. If I saw something that I liked and would have purchased if not for the no buy, I would just think about how someone else was going to find it and be so happy to wear it.

   In full transparency, about 2 weeks before the end of the challenge, I did buy a denim jacket for a concert that my daughter and I are going to but I have not worn it, and will not wear it until the event. I also bought one for my daughter. We have plans to use fabric paint on them and when we found exactly what we were looking for, we grabbed them since they were at a consignment shop.

2. I did not buy any shoes (except running shoes that I’ll address later) or handbags. Part of me regretted this challenge when we visited Italy in June. I had brought 2 pairs of shoes - my old black Birkenstock sandals and my chunky Nike trainers. While I was there, I really wished that I had a chicer pair of trainers to wear. In hindsight, I think I felt a little insecure about what I had packed for my shoe choices.

3. I did not buy any new or preloved jewelry (outside of vacation souvenirs, which I’ll address below).

4. Last month, I bought a vitamin C serum. I am prone to Melasma and I noticed a few dark spots had developed on my face over the summer. I’ve had a vitamin c serum in the past so it’s not a new to me product. The one I tried in the past is the holy grail of vitamin c serums but there was no way that I was going to spend $180 on it. After some research, I found one that seemed very comparable and only $20 so I decided to try that one. So, maybe I broke #4 a smidge.

Secondly: “Items that do not fall under the no buy”

1. I did thrift a tablecloth that I made into a top using a pattern that I already owned. I also bought a small baby quilt to make into a top, as well as some bias tape for the edges. I’ve cut the pattern pieces but have yet to sew it all together. The pattern I used to cut the pieces was the Side Tie Top from Steph Time, which I purchased during the no buy year.

   I honestly thought that I would do more sewing this past year and I even think I put it in there as a way to scratch any shopping itch - “if I can’t add new clothes through shopping, then I’ll do it through sewing” and in hindsight, it probably would have been really helpful around months 6-10 when I struggled a lot. But I’m happy that I didn’t have to rely on it to get me through the tough times.

2. I spent money on lots of consumables and experiences over the past year. And I’m happy that I made this allowance. I made a lot of great memories and I never felt deprived. I mentioned this in a previous letter but before my no buy year, I would often go thrifting on a Saturday and my daughter started tagging along with me. When I started the no buy year, we lost that “together time” for a little while, eventually replacing it with breakfast at a little local French cafe. And I wouldn’t trade those mornings for anything in the world. And I look forward to hundreds more!

3. I didn’t really buy any home improvement materials. I think I had envisioned some wall painting, maybe some panelling. I also thought we might finish our mudroom. But none of those things happened. I did buy a painting at an antique shop that I instantly fell in love with, as well as a vase so that I could mimic that painting.

   

   My mini foyer update, inspired by this vintage painting that I fell in love with. The table is an old nightstand that we had gotten from a friend that my daughter didn’t want anymore. I thrifted the vase for my birthday and bought myself some flowers to recreate the painting scene.

4. I bought a couple of souvenirs over the summer. We went to Italy in June and while we were in Florence, my daughter and I took a perfume making class. As part of the experience, we got to make our own signature perfume that we got to keep. The class was run out of the Female Arts in Florence which housed lots of creations from female artists. While I was signing up for the class, I found a small pair of hoop earrings that I loved and I bought those as my Italy souvenir (unfortunately one broke shortly after returning home).

   

   My “Florence” perfume taken immediately after the class on the dining table of our AirBnB. Such a fun experience!

   At the beginning of August, we went to Canada to visit my mom for the first part and then we met up with our best college friends for the second part. My mom lives in a beachy town and while I was in one of the shops there, I found a ring. I didn’t buy it right away, instead waiting until the last day to decide if it was what I wanted as a souvenir. It’s now one of my favorite pieces of jewelry that I wear pretty much everyday.

   

   The shape of the ring reminds me of waves and walking along the beach.

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There were a couple of areas that I didn’t think about when I made my rules that ended up being grey areas for me - I didn’t think about replacements for running gear, whether books were an acceptable purchase or whether physical gifts were allowed. In the end, I made exceptions for all of these things.

• I bought 1 pair of running shoes. But I bought the exact same model and colorway that I was replacing so I’d feel less guilty about it.

• I also bought books - mostly secondhand and mostly with a gift certificate. However, there were a few instances where I had forgotten the gift certificates and I paid out of pocket.

• And I decided that Christmas and birthday gifts were ok, even though I encouraged consumable gifts. At Christmas, I was gifted a weighted vest, a book store gift certificate and a masterclass membership. For Mother’s Day, I received a gift certificate to my favorite bookstore, some flowers and some of my favorite candy. And for my birthday, I received a sweater dress, a vintage painting and a bookstore gift certificate, as well as a pair of earrings and a book. I bought myself a ring and some flowers :)

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Did you miss shopping?

I missed it a lot in the beginning. And to cope, I removed as many shopping triggers as possible: I didn’t go to any shops with clothing, I stayed off social media and shopping sites and I removed any wishlists on my phone or computer. Things got a little easier around the 6-week mark and by the third month, the initial “thrill” of the challenge had worn off and I thought about it less and less - it just became a part of my life.

I also journaled a lot at the beginning and I think this was extremely helpful to my early success as it replaced the emotional outlet that shopping used to provide. But my journaling habit fell off at some point and I regret that because I think it would have been really useful when I started to struggle mentally.

At 6 months I started to question if I should just stop it there. At the time, I felt like I had reset my shopping behavior and that I had learned all I needed to. But then I questioned if that was just me looking for an excuse to shop again and since I couldn’t really trust my motivations, I decided to continue on.

I’m glad that I did because I think the first part of the challenge was all about resisting that urge to shop but the second part of the challenge is where I feel like there was a lot of struggle and emotional growth.

Months 6-10 were the hardest for me. I didn’t feel good emotionally at the beginning of the summer and at the end of July we lost our beloved dog, Kaya. In the past, shopping was what I did when I was sad. There were a lot of times that I just wished I could go to my favorite consignment shop and buy something pretty that would make me feel better. But I knew that was a temporary fix that wouldn’t really make the pain that I was feeling go away. So, instead, I spent time with my family and other pets, I got coffee with friends, I watched a lot of tv, I moved my body as much as I could and I just felt things.

Over the past few months, my thoughts have switched toward how I will approach shopping once the no buy year is over - at this point in time, I no longer want to place rules or restrictions on myself when it comes to my wardrobe. I want to enjoy clothes again and feel creative when I get dressed each day.

As such, I plan to incorporate additional weekly outfit roundups and analyses for paid subscribers starting next week. So, if you’re interested in that sort of thing and you haven’t done so already, you can sign up here:

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Would you do it again?

I can pretty confidently say that I won’t be doing a no buy year again, at least not anytime soon.

I started the challenge thinking that I had to reset my thinking around shopping but I had been doing that for almost a decade.

What I ended up doing instead was I developed a newfound confidence in myself that I could do things that I didn’t think I could. I also realized that I’m so far removed from that girl with the shopping addiction - I’ve put in a lot of work over the years that I’m (now) very proud of.

I’m also proud of the example that I set for my kids this year. They are teenagers and I have always been very open and vocal about money and budgeting because I don’t want them to repeat my mistakes. A lot of times throughout the year, we talked about the no buy year and why I was doing it. I think I’ve been able to have some good “mom-talks” around shopping responsibly and intentionally.

And even though I wouldn’t do a no buy year again, I would do a no buy month. I think I might sprinkle them from time to time. A reader once commented that they like to do them every other month and this has always stuck with me as a great idea!

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What has the post-no buy year period been like?

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the no buy ended!

On Tuesday, the day after the challenge ended, I went to my favorite consignment shop that I have been avoiding entirely all year, except for the 2 times that I dropped items off.

It had gotten a new owner over this past year and I was really curious to see how it had changed. Luckily, I think the changes have been good and all of the things that I love about it are still there. While I was in there, I did pick up a cute little red crochet sleeveless top. It has buttons up the back so I imagine I’ll also wear it backwards with some of the buttons open like a vest. I also found a cardigan that I had dropped off last spring. It’s blue and has a popcorn texture and it’s one of the few items that I’ve regretted decluttering, to the point where I was searching for popcorn sweaters on eBay once. I was able to just take the cardigan back and the top was $8 but I bought it with money that I got for some things of mine that had sold.

The first time I wore the crochet top, I layered it over a black merino wool mockneck sweater with an old pair of black jeans and my favorite moto boots. And I added my leather chore jacket for a little bit of polish.

Here’s my blue popcorn cardigan that I was lucky enough to find again after bringing it in for consignment.Again I paired it with black jeans but this time I wore a black tank top and some fun boots.

I went to a charity event a few nights ago and there was a silent auction. I ended up “winning” a vintage Coach handbag that I’m really excited about. I’ve been shunning brown since transitioning my hair to silver, thinking it was too warm, but have been pleasantly surprised by how much I actually enjoy the darker browns!

I have bought a couple of other clothing items that I didn’t need but I’m trying not to feel guilty about it. It’s almost like I’ve had a little rebound period and I’m just embracing it to see how it evens out.

Let me know if you’d be interested in a monthly roundup of what I’ve bought: it could be an interesting month-by-month analysis of the post no buy period.

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Final thoughts?

When I started this challenge last October, I was expecting it to be life-changing. Like, I’d feel really different as a person or have so many insights to share. But in reality, I don’t feel that different at all.

I’ve read about other people’s experiences doing no buy year’s and I always got the impression that they completely changed their lives and it was the best thing that they ever did. And while I think the challenge will have a positive impact on my life going forward (I hope), part of me is afraid that I didn’t work hard enough.

But I am very proud of the fact that I did it. Even when I initially thought I wouldn’t be able to. And since I’m my own worst enemy, it was nice to prove myself wrong and to tell “Naomi” to shut up and sit down! I’m also very proud of the work that I’ve done to get over my shopping addiction. And it took this challenge for me to acknowledge the effort that I’ve made to be more intentional around shopping and finances.

In writing this newsletter, I’ve also realized a few other things:

• I wouldn’t have been successful with this challenge if I hadn’t already put in a lot of work to become a more intentional shopper.

• If I had gotten fed up enough with my shopping addiction to try this while I was still an addict, I would have failed.

• If I had tried to stop buying things for a year even at the beginning of my intentional living journey, I would have failed. And I did.

So, if you are in either of these places and you want to stop shopping, here’s my advice: start small. Take it one day, one week, one month at a time. Every little triumph (and set back) moves you closer to the person you hope to become one day.

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Thank you for being here with me as I took this journey. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. I hope you are well wherever you are in the world 💕