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Carina's avatar

Hi came from the email I declutter constantly..I trying to get my shopping in control because it's an endless cycle decluttering buying no space leave piles on the floor and I am done because I wake up to that (tiny apartment)so I been reading your emails and they have been making me think 🤔 thank you

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Gillian's avatar

Welcome! I’m so happy you’re here! I know how exhausting that declutter/buy/declutter cycle can be. If you need support, please reach out in the group chat or send me a dm.

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

I declutter constantly. Something I loved two years ago just doesn't feel "me" anymore - we as humans are constantly changing, so our clothes do too! I feel like that search for the perfect place where we "stop" buying/decluttering is an illusion, just like we never achieve "being happy" because no emotion stays forever.

Getting rid of placeholders is a good idea. I chuck those suckers! If you don't already have space for a "limbo" land for your declutters, I give that a thumbs-up - the pieces that then call to me can be returned, either temporarily ("oh yeah, I hate this, right") or embraced fully ("what was I thinking!?").

Excellent post, Gillian!

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Carina's avatar

Sheila your thoughts are so true and really

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

Thank you so much, Carina!

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Gillian's avatar

I blame marketing for the constant pursuit of the perfect wardrobe - it’s just another way to make us buy more! I really appreciate your thoughts on the illusion of stop buying/decluttering.

I have something that sounds akin to your limbo land, but I call it the “purgatory pile” 😆

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

It really is a marketing sham, you’re right! Purgatory sounds scary!🤣

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Gillian's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Suzanne's avatar

I also feel the urge to declutter. I had put some items on my Vinted account and plan to go to my wardrobe to get some more items out. I have a hard time getting rid of items, but if I can sell them, then for me it’s fine. I’m keeping track of the items I declutter, so hopefully I can learn from the ‘mistakes’ I made. Last year i was into the color green and bought a dress and a shirt in this color, but don’t feel like wearing it at all this year… the shirt i wear to bed now 😓 sometimes your mind changes so quickly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Gillian's avatar

It's such a good idea to make a note of the things that you don't like so you can not buy the same things in the future!

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Louise's avatar

I love your little notes to the things you are saying goodbye to. I found that one of my main problems was that I would get an idea into my head : "I need a big heavy cosy winter sweater!") and then run it into the ground with no end point in sight. I ended up with both the things I already had in my closet AND placeholder items in that category alone. Finally I had to accept that there was no perfect one item, and that it probably worked best for me to have a couple of heavy cosy sweaters, but that I didn't need six, and I should not keep buying them thinking that one would morph into the perfect singular item I fantasised about. It was kind of like eating and never feeling sated, until I made myself look at what I was actually consuming.

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Gillian's avatar

"Finally I had to accept that there was no perfect one item, and that it probably worked best for me to have a couple of heavy cosy sweaters, but that I didn't need six, and I should not keep buying them thinking that one would morph into the perfect singular item I fantasised about." That was such a great revelation to make, Louise! I'm sure that it has saved you so much time and money since making it.

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Sigrid Djernæs's avatar

I tend to put things in a bin that I no longer want to wear. I might lend some of them to my sister, or give them to my nieces, if they want them. The rest end up getting donated, but they have usually been sitting for a while at that point. That way I hope to avoid decluttering regrets.

None of us want to do a endless cycle of buying and decluttering, but sometimes things don't work out they way we wanted them to. Taking note of what tends to get decluttered and try to avoid making similar purchases going forward seems a great idea.

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Gillian's avatar

That's such a great idea, Sigrid! And I love hearing about how everyone shares items with their family members which is something I miss about being so far away from home :( I'm definitely finding it really helpful to write about the items I'm decluttering and why and hopefully I won't make the same mistakes when purchasing in the future!

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Rach's avatar

The way you sit on an item and then one day decide that is the day to move it on really resonated with me. I think I work the same way. An item just does not feel right but I still keep it longer, maybe try and wear it again, thoughts of it linger around in the back of my mind and then BAM! It is suddenly time to go and no regrets, often taking a few friends with it while I'm in the mood. From an outsider looking in I always felt the red leather jacket did not fit in your wardrobe but I think it is a product of taking an interest in style. We like to try new/different styles to see what we think. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't.

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Gillian's avatar

Yeah, I think it's normal to want to make something work since we spent time and money acquiring it, but we also need to appreciate that we tried something and it just didn't work out and honor the process of letting it go when the mood strikes!

I felt the same way about the red leather jacket and I was never fully comfortable when I wore it. I think that a red sweater would be a better item for me!

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Kate's avatar

Hi 👋 But what about the fate of the Danner boots? 😆 I have the exact same pair and I wear them every weekend out walking at the moment but I live on an island and it’s winter so they really suit my lifestyle.

You’ve made a few items lodge in my mind reading this and I need to unearth them and give them away. A couple I’ve been complimented on by girl relatives so I’ll see if they want them as I love sharing clothes. My mum, sister and I often leave each other’s houses with a few items and I love that as we get a break from things but don’t lose them forever. There are some items we’ve shared for over twenty years such as a long vintage plaid skirt and fair isle jumper They look totally different on each of us.

I declutterred a red leather jacket last week, which I felt relieved about too.

I love your categories but do you ever find that your weight fluctuates? This is a major reason for hoarding for me, as I definitely intend to get back into some of my favourites but I love the comfort of others, so I have a good many pairs of jeans for example. Have a great week!

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Gillian's avatar

Ah the Danner boots - love them and how they look but I never wear them. I think I envisioned a version of me that went hiking on trails but I never do. Most of the walking trails around me are paved (kinda sad about that) but it means that running shoes are fine. So, I'm letting them go right now and if I ever find myself on hiking trails, I'll get another pair.

I love hearing that you all share items (they sound amazing) - and how special (and sustainable) is that?!?! I hope that my daughter and I do that in the future!

The red leather jacket was a lot, wasn't it? I felt like a beacon every time I wore it 😆

In terms of weigh, most of my clothes are looser and accommodate some fluctuation but I think I'm becoming more interested in jeans at the moment so I might have a different opinion about decluttering in the future!

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Annie Hill's avatar

I really liked today's post ( they are great though). and as usual you wrote about a subject that can make you think. One of my goals was to have all of my things in one closet. (coats, sweaters and some vintage caftans live in my cloffice closet). But all season wear, one place where I can see it and maaaybeee mix seasons if I feel like it. When I did the "purge" and it happened, It felt GREAT! and the one in, one out kinda works. But today I'm inspired to re-look and cut out more dead weight using your categories ... Thank you!!! Happy Saturday!

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Gillian's avatar

Thanks Annie! I appreciate that! And that's such a great goal - I also have a goal to have everything in one place. I'm so happy that this post is making you have another look at some of the items you're questioning 🫶🏻

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Lindsay K.'s avatar

I feel like you were inside my head with this one. Oh, how many times have I bought the piece waiting for the right one to come along …thank you for putting words to this.

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Gillian's avatar

It's hard to wait for the right item, isn't it?!? I'm not good with delayed gratification, but I'm really going to try to start holding out for the item that matches the one in my head.

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Annette Silveira's avatar

I’m a regular closet declutter-er. I have a box in my closet for the things I don’t want to wear. When it’s full, I put everything in a bag and drop it off at the thrift store.

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Gillian's avatar

I love this idea so much!!

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