How I ruined my hobby.

And how I'm rediscovering the joy of sewing again.

Merriam-Webster defines a hobby as “a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation”.

I’ve had a number of hobbies that have come and gone - rock wall climbing, squash, jewelry making and running, to name a few. And in the spring of 2020, I discovered my current hobby: sewing.

At the time, I had an account on Instagram where I shared about ethical and slow fashion, mostly creating outfits from my various capsule wardrobes, but occasionally sharing brands whose values aligned with mine. When I found myself with a little extra time on my hands during lockdown, sewing seemed like a natural progression in my slow fashion journey.

And I went all in. My first project was a tiered dress, the Wilder Gown. I was so confident that I ignored some of the instructions and pleated the tiers instead of gathering them. It wasn’t an intentional change, I just thought that’s what you did with the extra fabric, because what did I know? Even though the insides were pretty ugly (I had yet to learn about a French seam), I loved it and I felt an extreme amount of accomplishment. I also got a lot of positive feedback when I posted it online.

All of this together made me so exited to sew and I started pumping out garments.

Until I didn’t.

About a year later, I started to burn out. I had associated sewing a garment with posting it online. It started to feel performative. I had taken the joy of sewing and turned it into something that I dreaded doing.

It was my own expectations that led to this. Nobody else was demanding this of me, or even expecting it. But if I was making something, I felt like I had to share the entire process - progress pics and videos posted to my stories, a carousel of the garment posted to my feed when it was done. And then reels came to IG and I felt like I had to stop while I was creating a garment just to document every step so that I could make a video to post.

I made a Camille top in September of 2021 in an attempt to get my “sewjo” back, and while I love that top, and that pattern is now one of my favorites, it didn’t work.

uncomplicatedspaces

A post shared by @uncomplicatedspaces

Over the next few years, I made a couple of items, always thinking that this was it, THIS was the project that would get me back into wanting to sew. But, again, it all just felt performative. Like I was sewing just to be able to show other people.

People Pleasing is a thief of joy.

I’ve written in the past about how self-doubt is a thief of joy but people pleasing also steals joy away.

I’ve spent some time over the past few years working on my tendency to put the wants and needs of others ahead of my own. I was brought up in a strict house with an alcoholic father. His love felt very conditional so I learned at a very young age to be agreeable. To get good grades, to behave politely, to never step out of line or else risk being grounded for a month.

Once I left home after graduation, the constant need to be a people pleaser continued. I was constantly trying to do more for others or I’d say yes to plans even if it wasn’t really something that I wanted to do.

I noticed the same pattern when I started Uncomplicated Spaces. What I had intended to be an online space dedicated to living more minimally and intentionally turned into a place where I talked about clothes all the time because that was what resonated the most. And while I didn’t mind focusing on clothes, especially at first as my account grew, I felt like I let my own focus slip away just to please others.

Finding a way to consider other’s feelings while not making it my personal platform has taken me a while but I think I’m getting there.

Which brings me back to sewing.

I think I’m finally ready to sew, just for me. I’m ready to stop letting the fear of failure and messing up hold me back from trying new patterns. I’m ready to sew just for the joy of sewing and not so other people will validate my makes.

What does this look like?

I’ve thought a lot about that. I think it means that, for Instagram, I won’t share the “behind the scenes” of making a garment. I might post a story or 2 (or more if I’m stuck and need advice because the IG sewing community is so helpful), and I won’t be making reels of the entire production process.

But I will post my makes on my feed, just so that I can document them but also to hopefully inspire someone who, like me in 2020, wants to start sewing. To discover the joy of making something with their own hands and the joy when someone says they like your dress/top/pants and they can say “thanks, I made it” (or not, because they might then get asked if they can hem some pants 🤣).

And I will share them here, because I am proud of everything I make, and this is a place to share our thoughts, struggles and triumphs.

So, here’s a sewing triumph.

When I came across a colorful vintage tablecloth, I knew that I had to make something from it. I actually found it last weekend in an antique shop (fabric is allowed during my no buy year) and to avoid succumbing to “Naomi” (aka, my self-doubt), I decided to cut out a pattern that evening. I went with the Camille top again because I just love it, and after using it 2 times, I felt like it was a good way to get back into sewing.

I cut out my usual size 10 (the pattern sizing is UK 6-22). The only modifications that I made were: (1) I omitted the interfacing (partly because the fabric had enough structure but mostly because I was lazy), and (2) I didn’t put elastic in the sleeves because I thought the bell shape of the sleeve showed off the fun pattern really well and elastic would have interfered with that.

I french seamed EVERYTHING. I should probably buy a serger to finish my edges but I don’t know if it would save me time (I’ve heard threading one can take a lot of time).

Here she is:

I kind of really love her! And I think she adds a really nice pop of color to my moody wardrobe.

Do you have a hobby that you love right now? Will you be spending time this weekend on it?

Also, have you ever ruined a hobby?

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