20 Comments

Thanks for such an honest post! Trying to find a balance - doing something you like but not turning it into a chore - is not as easy as it sounds! I do think that the issue of being "performative" can be a real problem, maybe fuelled, in part, by social media...?

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Also a sewing person! 🙋🏻‍♀️ and I get the performative sewing bit. I’ve done it. But I think just age and sewing for over 10 years now means I am more attuned to sewing what I want to wear (or occasionally sewing something because I want to understand how it’s put together because I can be quite a process sewist). Your top is lovely, and I’m glad it’s bringing you joy. An overlocker does take a while to thread but I keep a neutral thread in it so very rarely change it. So overall it is quicker, but a French seam is lovely.

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Thanks for sharing your experience! It gives me a lot of hope that I can enjoy sewing just for me. And thanks for the neutral thread tip for the overlocker. I will keep that in mind if I ever get one.

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Perfectionism can also ruin a hobby- the need for constant improvement and for each new thing to be better than the last. I imagine others judging what I make, thinking that the newest crochet item is not as good or that I haven't really improved in playing that instrument. Because of these (self) criticisms, I completely stop the hobby. I also sometimes remember past failures and think "why bother, when this could turn out poorly too" or "why bother, when I don't even use or like the last three things I made." My mother is a perfectionist and when I was a child she used to listen to me practice the flute and call out "tips" from the other room, or when I showed her something I made, she would suggest "improvements." Now that critical voice is in my head :(

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This resonates with me so much! I wish that you weren't plagued with these thoughts and could fully enjoy your hobby. How is it that something that we start for ourselves becomes something that we allow the rest of the world to judge us on?

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This resonated with me too. My ruined hobby was / is pottery. I loved it so much, dreamed about it, yearned for my lessons, and over a few years saved up and bought a kiln and set up a home-studio, got talked into having a stall at a pop-up, then another etc… and the production pressure of it all took the joy right out to the point where I stopped making altogether. My studio is now such a dusty mess with half-finished projects lying around and I feel sick at the thought of it.

It’s my plan to clear it all up and begin making a set of crockery for our home and just for us. I do not want to sell anything. I wished I’d understood that commercial success is not the success I was looking for when I started. I got caught up in the hype.

I also love writing but I never share it for the same reason; I never want to feel anyone’s expectation to produce like that again.

Thanks for the reminder!

I did, however, make one and now onto my second pair of pomona pants!! I’m in love with them! 🥰

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The same thing happened with me and jewelry making...I started an Etsy shop and when it started to get traction, the expectation of it made me dread making anything. I think that society's constant pressure to monetize our hobbies takes a lot of joy out of the act. I'm glad that you've found your way back to why you started pottery in the first place and have plans to start creating again. How special to be able to make your own set of crockery.

I'm so happy to hear that you like the Pomona's! Aren't they just the comfiest?!?

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Yes, they are and I was thrilled to make them with French seams too as I knew they’d be keepers! Thanks for the inspiration!

They have also stopped me making multiple new purchases this spring. And the fabric for both pairs had been sitting in my basket for nearly 20 years!! Another nice thing is that my machine broke but it meant that I involved my mum and her machine and we’re heading up to her house in Scotland now with half a suitcase of mending and adjusting to do on loved but unworn items. So, it has kickstarted another way to avoid buying new.

Your top is lovely and just the thing to add a sprig of life to a spring outfit.

I’m curious about your lost jewellery making hobby - I bet you made beautiful things knowing how lovely the outfits you put together are. I don’t think you’ve ever shown your jewellery on IG or here? Is that because you don’t want to go back there? Do you ever make things for yourself still! X

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French seams make everything feel so polished!

How nice that you and your mom have found a way to bring some new life back into old items.

I made a lot of wire wrapped bracelets and rings, and some fun necklaces. I have one necklace that I wear occasionally. I still have a lot of it left that I've never been able to part with, as well as all of the tools. I don't make anything for myself anymore...I don't wear much jewelry and tend to wear the same things so I don't have much of an interest. Maybe I'll document it all in a newsletter someday as a goodbye and let it go.

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I love this pop of color with your hair ❤️

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Thank you!

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Jack of all trades, master of none! I love art, cooking, gardening, yoga, photography, hiking, travel, fashion, reading, writing... I can keep going but you get the point. My experience has been that trying to convert hobbies into profession or money can ruin it. It's tempting when you love something so much to try to sell it. Partly because you accumulate too much. Or get really good at it and can do it for others. Also it challenges you or gives larger purpose. I think it can work for some people to create a second act. Or reinvent yourself and your life. Other times money is a thief of joy.

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Such great points...it's when we move away from doing it for ourselves to doing it for others is when I think we cross a line and it's no longer a hobby. So many of your hobbies resonate with me, but I never think of them as hobbies because I don't do them enough. Maybe I need to reframe.

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Thank you for your vulnerability in this post Gillian 🩷 I loved it!

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Julia 💕 I definitely considered taking a few things out but at the end of the day, it's our past experiences that shape us into the people we are and whether we choose to let those experiences guide us or not.

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Beautiful top! I really like it!

When I was a little girl I liked drawing. Nobody ever taught me how to draw. I just started doing it at the very young age of 2 or 3. I was drawing all the time and my drawings were everywhere 😆 when I was 11 my parents thought that more education in that a area would be good for me and got my signed up for classes in the art school for teenagers. I was thought basic drawing skills for four years, my drawings were assessed by the tutors. I was told what to draw and how to draw. All in all that had stoped me from drawing completely somehow for 25 years😅 Now I try to start drawing. Drawing without thinking of whether other people would like it or not. Drawing for joy.

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It's funny how doing it for other people makes it feel like a chore. I'm so happy that you're getting back to drawing for you? What do you like to draw the most?

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I like to draw flowers and landscapes but in a kind of abstract manner.

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Just beautiful! Love this post & love the top. You are so talented. I need a hobby 😂

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Thank you! It's such a great pattern. What's the first thing that comes to mind as a hobby for you?

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