The Transformative Power of Not Buying Stuff

Some reflections on the past 1.5 years & becoming an intentional consumer.

Are you content right now, in this moment, with your belongings? Are you satisfied with the amount that you own, are you overwhelmed by it or are you still looking for more?

The average American buys 53 new clothing items each year and in 2018, we discarded 13M tons of clothing.

These numbers feel like so much, and not enough, at the same time!

Last week, I took 6 bags of clothes to the consignment & thrift shops. The combined total of all items in these bags was 103 items. There were another 20 items that I’d sent over to a neighbor.

123 items.

Surrounded by 103 items of clothes - half from my closet and half from my kids

I’d been collecting a lot of these items over the last year through various declutters. There were some items that I had held back for my daughter, thinking she might want them some day, or she had asked me to hold them back for her. There were items that I was holding back to bring to the consignment shop where I could make some money back on the items.

But, in holding onto all of these items, I was holding myself back from letting go.

I was holding onto a fantasy of who I was with all these clothes - a fashionista. From that moment on the school bus when I was 16 and a girl said she liked my (new) jacket (it was an iridescent dark blue plastic-y biker style jacket with a black faux fur collar - very avant-garde for my small town) and that I was the most fashionable girl at school, my fate was sealed.

My shopping fate that is.

And it’s been almost 3 decades since that moment, a lot of clothes, a lot of debt and a lot of trying, but I feel like I’m letting that fantasy go.

Every time I remove an item that I don’t wear, I chip away at that identity. An identity that I held so closely, one that brought me a lot of joy, but also so much pain.

Every time I resist the urge to buy something just because I think it’s pretty, and not because I also need it, I chip away at that identity.

The funny thing is that I feel so much more stylish now than I ever did back then. I know what I like to wear and I’m done spending time and money on trends or being influenced.

Buying clothes was something that I was good at. Learning to let that go meant that I had to face all the time and money that I’d wasted over the years. It also meant that I had to develop an identity outside of shopping, and for me, that’s becoming a minimalist, or at least someone who needs few possessions.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve traded one obsession for another, but as a recovered shopaholic, I’d much rather be obsessed with having fewer items and not shopping, as opposed to the stressful existence of drowning in debt and clothes (while still not having anything to wear), which was what my shopping addiction brought me.

I’ve gone through a lot of phases over the past decade that have eventually led me to the point that I’m currently at with regards to shopping. But, I think the no buy year that I did from October 14, 2023 - October 13, 2024 was pivotal in developing my self-confidence as a non-consumer.

After failing no buys in the past, I went into the year unsure of how it would turn out, but for 12 whole months, I didn’t buy any new or pre-loved clothes, jewelry, handbags or shoes (save for a ring and earrings bought as vacation souvenirs which my rules allowed, and a pair of replacement running shoes).

I did rebound and buy a lot of stuff in the 6 weeks following my no buy year, but that was also an important learning experience in my journey. It made me realize that I needed some kind of restriction on the number of items that I bought and also that thrift shops were a big shopping temptation for me.

With that knowledge, I decided to do a low buy year which I began at the beginning of 2025, and I set a limit of 25 items for the year. Currently, at 5 months in, I have purchased 11/25 of those items. Very few of those purchases have been impulse purchases and I have been extremely happy with all of them.

I feel like I’ve found a sustainable way to enjoy fashion that aligns with my values and goals!

Having spent the last decade working to overcome my shopping addiction, and making the most headway in the 1.5 years, the following 5 things are the ones that have truly turned me into an intentional consumer. These are the things I recommend that you do to stop yourself from making a purchase that you don’t truly need:

1. Limit social media and anything else that makes you want to buy stuff.

   If you do nothing else, do this! While social media may have began as a way to connect people, it’s now just basically the modern-day QVC. At the very least, unfollow people who make you want to shop or who are always promoting stuff. If someone flicked you with a rubber a rubber band every time you saw them, you’d probably stop seeing them. Think of these people constantly promoting new stuff as flicking you with a rubber band every time you feel that urge to shop after consuming their content.

2. Adopt the 1 in, 1 out rule.

   The idea here is that you get rid of 1 item for every item that you bring in. Would you be willing to get rid of something that you already own for this new item?

3. Think of each purchase in terms of hours worked.

   How many hours do you have to work to buy this item, and is it worth it? Do you really want to spend your hard-earned money on this item, or would you rather use this money for something else?

4. Consider the end life of each and every item.

   Whenever you purchase something, be aware that you’ll most likely have to get rid of it at some point in the future. Eventually, you’ll have to make a decision about whether to keep or discard the item, and when it comes time to discard it, how difficult will that be? Is it worth it to have to deal with that?

5. Do no/low buy challenges.

   They don’t have to be for an entire year if that feels overwhelming. You could start off with a week at first, eventually working up to a month, then 3 months, 6 months, and finally, a year. Or you could do apply a month on, month off approach where you take a break from spending every other month.

Even if you do all of these things, but you still make unnecessary purchases, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep implementing each of these 5 points into your life/purchases and over time, it should get easier!

Save the following graphic to your phone (or make it your wallpaper) to refer to whenever you feel that need to buy something:

As always, thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this newsletter, I’d appreciate it if you could give it a little love ❤️ and consider sharing it…

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