Thanks for sharing this so openly and I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You were one of the people who inspired me to start on my low-buy...a no-buy sounds like a super hard challenge and I really admire how you've pushed through--10 months is a lot and it sounds like you've already gained so much from the experience...whatever happens next, I hope you'll be able to celebrate the wins!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. My thoughts are not fully formed on your feelings regarding your no buy year. I have not even been able to go more than a month without buying something so I am in awe of what you have accomplished so far. I am wondering if this is you learning to sit with negative thoughts? Shopping is the means for pushing away those negative thoughts and now that you are not doing that these uncomfortable feelings sit with you for longer and are more intense without distraction. Can you give yourself permission to feel these emotions comforted in the knowledge that these feelings do not last forever? Social media/fashion is your muse, can you search deep to find a new muse? I really do not have the experience on this to dish out advice and am really just offering up my ramblings... I do get the impression that the act of writing your thoughts down has helped ease your negative emotions. I am sending all my good thoughts your way and hope you find more contentment on your no shopping journey.
I am sorry for your loss and that you have been struggling with this challenge the past few months after a positive start.
My husand and I started a no buy year this January, and after a positive start we also fell off the bandwagon. Funnily enough it was my husband you bought lots of things first, while I've bought the occasional thing here and there. But I still don't see the year as a failure and I've gotten even better at picking things that come into our home more carefully.
For many years I've been counting what comes IN (and goes OUT) of our home and the no buy year has resulted in a considerably fewer INs, even if there are a lot more than if we'd stuck to the whole no buy year.
In preperation for the no buy year I unsubscribed from all mailing lists and also some social media things, but I am still on Instagram and enjoy looking at things online, but buy very little. I am hoping to continue in a similar vein and might try another no buy period (although probably not for a whole year).
Like Vicki, you are always who I think of when I'm considering a No Buy, and I appreciate your honesty, because it is so often presented as effortless (which always makes me think, does the person really like clothes?) and makes me feel I'm failing if I don't persevere. I am trying not to buy anything at the moment, and to frame it to myself as a win, rather than deprivation, but it's hard, even though every part of my rational brain knows that I have more than enough clothes to keep me clothed and interested in my wardrobe. But I still have that knee-jerk reaction when I see something I like, that I want to possess it.
As for feeling the lack of creativity, I know that one well. There's always the self-imposed residual guilt that you aren't fulfiling your potential/using your talents. But I've learnt to recognise that although I'm not making art despite having all the tools, maybe my creativity comes out in other ways: maybe my home, what I cook, the way things are arranged on a coffee table is as much creativity as I can produce right now, particularly when there are emotional pressures on me (even good ones). I struggle with feeling unproductive in the summer, even though I am a naturally indolent person, suffer in the heat, and don't actually have anything I need to do! I keep having to remind myself that I look forward to these lazy days most of the year, why ruin them with feeling guilty now?
And, I am so sorry for your loss. That must be having such an impact on how you are feeling, as well.
This is a hard hard challenge. Congratulations on making it to the 10th month mark. I wish I had something wise to say. All I can say : be kind to yourself.
Hey Gillian, I'm so sorry for your loss! 💔 I hope that day by day, the grief will become a little bit easier to deal with.
If it's any help, I think there's something about that 6 months mark—I'm seeing other people in the comments mention that, and I too stopped my no-buy year after 6.5 months. I had a good reason, but even if I didn't, I think the most important thing is what comes after. Time will tell, but I think I'll be fine and won't go back to my old ways (obsessing over clothes and constantly trying to create a perfect wardrobe, but also restricting because I wanted to be a minimalist). And this comes as a result of that no-buy period—even if it wasn't as long as I originally intended it to be! I'm sure you too have learned some lessons over the last 10 months and you're not going to go back to shopping like you used to. Whether to hang on for another 2 months or not depends entirely on what you think you're getting out of this challenge. I don't think I only speak for myself when I say: whatever you decide, we'll still be here and cheer you on!
Hi Ania! Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.
And I really appreciate your insight here, especially about what comes after the no buy period as being the most important thing. Your old ways sound an awful lot like my old ways and I also want to not go back to that. I want to be conscientious of what I buy in the future but also not as restrictive. I realize now that I really don't enjoy the whole buy/declutter/buy cycle...I'm looking forward to seeing what my after looks like. How are you finding it?
I have thought about you and your strength to see this through often this year as I have failed again and again to resist going to the thrift shop. I just can’t seem to stop myself because, like you say, it does fill a creative gap for me, costs less and serves charity.
BUT I also feel rotten. I feel helpless in the face of consumerism and I really dislike the feeling that I can’t say no to myself. I also can’t stand the piles of clothes, fabrics and nick-nacks that have built up around the house and I can’t stand the thought of how long it will take me to sort them all.
Don’t forget how hard you worked to create space and freedom from unnecessary clutter. I am drowning in it. The worst bits are my kids’ closets, they’re just rammed with outgrown, worn out stuff but I don’t have the time or energy to deal with it. It’s so much easier to walk away. Then I find myself heading the to store to look for something that will solve all the problems. It’s so ironic!
I have felt for a long time that I NEED to follow your lead, and your admission that it’s hard and boring and feels uncreative at times is the kind of realism
I need to get my head around for it to be sustainable.
I haven’t bought new for years but even online secondhand retailers soak up so much time and energy and I still don’t feel great in the clothes I buy because I’m disappointed really by what’s on the inside.
I’m working up to sorting out my nutrition, physical fitness, mental reliance and wardrobe. It’s probably too much to take on all at once but I am getting better a little bit each day with intentional choices around all of these things.
I still remember your granola, yogurt, walnut pomegranate snack - which I ate on repeat for a while - and how nourishing all parts of ourselves is important to feel success in any one area.
So I hope I’ve reminded you the your inspiration has spread far and maybe also that taking care of your body and mind can be creative and nourishing too.
Hi Kate! I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. We've been in the trap of consumerism for so long that it's hard to break out of it, and that's the way it's been designed.
You mention online secondhand retailers and how you've been dissatisfied with those purchases...maybe you could decide to just shop locally for clothes for a while and see how that goes? You get to enjoy a nice activity and find items that you can try before you buy. And possibly use the time you would have spent looking online to tackle a small decluttering project? I know you didn't ask for any ideas, but this instantly popped into my mind and I figured it couldn't hurt to share.
You just reminded me of that yogurt bowl and I need to start making it again. I still do a yogurt bowl but it's just a little different (and honestly, not as good!).
Thank you for you kind words. I really appreciate them 💕
Thank you, Gillian, for your idea; I don’t mind ideas at all! Like you say, it’s in the design of these things that they are cyclical. I only got into online secondhand designer retailers because I was decluttering my own excess so I had an account and was frequently alerted to interest in items I had posted. This inevitably lead to having a wee look at what else was out there and before I knew it I was checking multiple times a day to see if my favourite designer brands were available… then getting in a hot panic when the ideal thing in the right size with only one available appeared and it’s a perfect storm.
I’ve spent the last ten days in the French Alps with no shops and virtually no online browsing and I feel so much better.
Last year I earned enough in online sales from a recent declutter to finance a creative writing retreat which changed my life. I know this has been a good thing and I know I want to continue on this path so each little step and reminder and prompt and reflection and shared failure or doubt makes it easier to move forward and away from the grip of consumerism. This is why your posts and inspiration have been so important to me. I know you have found it hard too but I just wanted to share that with you. There’s no pressure from me for you to post more often if it serves you to be offline, but what you share on here is always a lift.
If you are still looking for inspiration or motivation, I can offer you a place to stay and a friend in Scotland - if making a trip there becomes a goal for you. X
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Newness is so ingrained into us, it's hard to snap out of that. I can easily just not buy stuff but I'd love to know how to turn off the want for new things. That never seems to go away. Your lack of inspiration might be seasonal. We all get fed up of our summmer/winter (whichever season) clothes towards the tail end of the season and are usually looking forward to the new season, but the weather is not obliging.
Would a session with a professional stylist help? Or do you have a group of friends who could do that job for you? Not sure what your rules were, but what about a clothing swap? That would give the opportunity for newness without buying. You could do a one in one out rule for yourself, so your overall wardrobe doesn't grow.
But finally, know that if you bought something now, it would not be the end of the world. You have done so well. 10 months is a LONG time and should be congratulated as an achievement. Don't beat yourself up about it.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Helen. I think we're all just magpies at the end of the day and we need an occasional new and shiny thing to liven things up every now and then. But I agree that it would be nice to just turn that off and be wholly content with what we presently own.
Unfortunately, warm weather will extend into October for me, so no relief will come from being able to dig out my cooler weather clothes. However, I do have a couple of bins downstairs (1 has cooler weather clothes that I have set aside to consign this fall and 1 or 2 has items that I have put back for my daughter). I think I will pull those out and see if there is anything that I can pull out to use over the next few months.
I believe self-imposed boundaries are the hardest to abide by.
The feelings of guilt , shame,disappointment are hard to Iive with and reconcile when you feel like you can't maintain the restrictions .
As human beings, we seem to find it easier to follow guidelines, rules or boundaries when they are part of a collective agreement or even when we are "told" to do so, it gives as permission to complain and ,rebel against it without guilt or shame ,as it's then about freewill and self determination, now that seems contrary to the premise that as a free agent you choose to impose limitations or restrictions on yourself,but that's the complexity of us humans.
So,I applaud you for persevering in the face of your discomfort,and above all,for acknowledging the difficulties and miriad of feelings ,negative and positive of your experience.
Wether you make it to your self imposed goal of one year ,this experience would have been a positive one, as it's given you g further insights and maybe a different perspective about consumerism moving forward.
Maybe it's not just about not buying or acquiring stuff,but mostly about "how" we go about it.
Personally,I practice a twice yearly renewal of my wardrobe, where I buy a couple of new pieces either for cold or warm weather and at the same time I recycle a few pieces by donating or ,gifting on.
It's a balancing act, but Iin the end ,each one of us finds the path or way that suits you best.
Give yourself a star for what you have achieved in these last 10 months.
This is a very insightful comment, Maritza. Although I'm not currently finding joy in the process, I feel close enough to the finish line to persevere, mostly to avoid the feelings you describe. I will say that getting the thoughts out of my head and in front of you all has really helped open a door in my mind. When it was just with me, I couldn't make heads nor tails of it all. I had a hard time being objective as I've been very "in my feels" lately. But hearing other people's thoughts and ideas has given me strength...who would have thought that sharing the struggle would make it feel like less of a struggle (pretty much everyone, ha!).
I’m really glad you wrote this and am grateful for your honesty. It’s refreshing! I wonder if an appointment with a stylist might make you get the creative juices flowing with your own wardrobe again? Thank you for sharing this - its a helpful reminder as I am in the beginning of my own no buy period.
So so sorry for your loss as well. I can’t even imagine.
I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time! Do you still feel that social media would be too much temptation? I wonder if you could reintroduce that in a small way, maybe specifically to look for sewing patterns that excite you? Or could you use the joy of friends or family as motivation with a sewing gathering, pattern swap, fabric swap? Or even a clothing swap? Anyway, wishing you all the best, and sending heartfelt condolences for your loss. It's so hard to lose a family member.
Thank you for your kind words, and your suggestions. I have thought recently about removing a lot of the barriers that I've put in place, and your suggestion may be the perfect nudge that I need! I do miss seeing all of the sewing and styling inspiration.
I was also very happy to see your post in my inbox. As a rebel creating forbidden restrictions never feels right for me. They just make it harder. Although I do rage quit things and that seems to work.
Your journey is very inspiring. The way you shared it was art in it self. The writing, photos, videos, curated capsules all styled and presented so beautifully.
There may be something new wanting to come out that is a deeper expression. Explore limiting beliefs about yourself and what your creative abilities might be. Art 🖼️ on❣️
Hi Ruby! I think I need a little more of your rebellious spirit in my life! I've actually been thinking about that a lot lately...how I get an idea to do something but I reach for the biggest goal that I can think of. It always seems ambitious, but like, doable, at the same time if I try hard enough. I can feel the satisfaction of reaching the goal but I gloss over all of the inconveniences that I'll need to experience to get there and whether I would still do the challenge if I considered those more?
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Your suggestion to explore my limiting beliefs about myself is very intriguing and definitely something to explore further.
Sell 2 pieces for every one you buy on Poshmark or other selling sites and start a side gig. You have learned what you need to know. It is not the owning of it. It is the sport. You have paid your dues. come back, Little Sheba! xox
Oh gosh Mary, I really wish I could be a reseller. I tried it once and it is not for me...something about all the stuff just waiting in limbo I think 😅
Also, love this..."It is not the owning of it. It is the sport." 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I was someone who was inspired to do a no-buy because of your no-buy, and I want you to know I will always be grateful for the gentle push I felt when I read about what you were undertaking. I loved that you were very clear about your rules and goals. I loved that you shared your thought processes along the way. Thank you for your willingness to share everything, including this update. For what it’s worth, I stopped my own no-buy right after the six month point. I gave it a lot of thought before I stopped. Mostly I was afraid of disappointing people, which was ridiculous. I was doing it for myself! I learned plenty about myself and my shopping habits during those six months. I discovered where I had needs, and saw where I still had too much. It was a great experience, but I just felt “done” at six months. I have no regrets, and I am proud of the work I did during that time. All of this to say, you are the boss of you. You get to decide when you’re done. There isn’t really a finish line to any of this work. I think you’ve done amazing, life-changing work, and you’ve inspired a whole bunch of people along the way! PS I was so excited to see your post show up in my inbox!!
Vicki! Congrats on your no buy! Isn't it wild to not shop for 6 months?!? Thank you for your words of encouragement. As a people pleaser, I can definitely relate to that fear of disappointing others and thank you for the reminder that it's all up to me. My gut feeling is that I will continue but I think I need to make some changes. I think it's time to maybe remove some of the barriers that I've put in place which I think will be useful as a way to slowly reintroduce those things that used to trigger me to shop, but also to open up room for inspiration to come into my life again.
Hi Gillian ❤️ I’ve just read just post and felt compelled to leave a comment. I completely understand what you mean and that’s exactly the reason I ended my No Buy Year after the six month mark. (If you want to take a look, I wrote about it on my newsletter, my reasons for “quitting” and all). When clothes/fashion are something that brings you joy, removing yourself from all of it to avoid temptation can be tricky and feel like proper isolation. I was nodding and relating the whole time I was reading your post! I am sure you have learned a lot about yourself, your style and your shopping habits during this months and that is all that matters. A shopping ban can only do so much, but actually the real work begins the first time you set foot on a shop after that!
Also sending you all my love for Kaya 🧡 I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Cynthia 🧡. And I think describing this feeling as isolation is so spot on. I do feel like I will be much more intentional when I do start to shop again, which had always been the goal!
Love your authenticity in sharing this with us. I feel you in the struggle! I don’t want to rush into fix it mode, though some ideas popped up. It’s enough to witness your struggle and hold that space with you. If you do want some random ideas from a practical stranger, though, let me know!
Thanks for sharing this so openly and I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You were one of the people who inspired me to start on my low-buy...a no-buy sounds like a super hard challenge and I really admire how you've pushed through--10 months is a lot and it sounds like you've already gained so much from the experience...whatever happens next, I hope you'll be able to celebrate the wins!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. My thoughts are not fully formed on your feelings regarding your no buy year. I have not even been able to go more than a month without buying something so I am in awe of what you have accomplished so far. I am wondering if this is you learning to sit with negative thoughts? Shopping is the means for pushing away those negative thoughts and now that you are not doing that these uncomfortable feelings sit with you for longer and are more intense without distraction. Can you give yourself permission to feel these emotions comforted in the knowledge that these feelings do not last forever? Social media/fashion is your muse, can you search deep to find a new muse? I really do not have the experience on this to dish out advice and am really just offering up my ramblings... I do get the impression that the act of writing your thoughts down has helped ease your negative emotions. I am sending all my good thoughts your way and hope you find more contentment on your no shopping journey.
I am sorry for your loss and that you have been struggling with this challenge the past few months after a positive start.
My husand and I started a no buy year this January, and after a positive start we also fell off the bandwagon. Funnily enough it was my husband you bought lots of things first, while I've bought the occasional thing here and there. But I still don't see the year as a failure and I've gotten even better at picking things that come into our home more carefully.
For many years I've been counting what comes IN (and goes OUT) of our home and the no buy year has resulted in a considerably fewer INs, even if there are a lot more than if we'd stuck to the whole no buy year.
In preperation for the no buy year I unsubscribed from all mailing lists and also some social media things, but I am still on Instagram and enjoy looking at things online, but buy very little. I am hoping to continue in a similar vein and might try another no buy period (although probably not for a whole year).
Like Vicki, you are always who I think of when I'm considering a No Buy, and I appreciate your honesty, because it is so often presented as effortless (which always makes me think, does the person really like clothes?) and makes me feel I'm failing if I don't persevere. I am trying not to buy anything at the moment, and to frame it to myself as a win, rather than deprivation, but it's hard, even though every part of my rational brain knows that I have more than enough clothes to keep me clothed and interested in my wardrobe. But I still have that knee-jerk reaction when I see something I like, that I want to possess it.
As for feeling the lack of creativity, I know that one well. There's always the self-imposed residual guilt that you aren't fulfiling your potential/using your talents. But I've learnt to recognise that although I'm not making art despite having all the tools, maybe my creativity comes out in other ways: maybe my home, what I cook, the way things are arranged on a coffee table is as much creativity as I can produce right now, particularly when there are emotional pressures on me (even good ones). I struggle with feeling unproductive in the summer, even though I am a naturally indolent person, suffer in the heat, and don't actually have anything I need to do! I keep having to remind myself that I look forward to these lazy days most of the year, why ruin them with feeling guilty now?
And, I am so sorry for your loss. That must be having such an impact on how you are feeling, as well.
This is a hard hard challenge. Congratulations on making it to the 10th month mark. I wish I had something wise to say. All I can say : be kind to yourself.
Thank you for your kind words and very sound advice, which I am going to try really hard to take!
Hey Gillian, I'm so sorry for your loss! 💔 I hope that day by day, the grief will become a little bit easier to deal with.
If it's any help, I think there's something about that 6 months mark—I'm seeing other people in the comments mention that, and I too stopped my no-buy year after 6.5 months. I had a good reason, but even if I didn't, I think the most important thing is what comes after. Time will tell, but I think I'll be fine and won't go back to my old ways (obsessing over clothes and constantly trying to create a perfect wardrobe, but also restricting because I wanted to be a minimalist). And this comes as a result of that no-buy period—even if it wasn't as long as I originally intended it to be! I'm sure you too have learned some lessons over the last 10 months and you're not going to go back to shopping like you used to. Whether to hang on for another 2 months or not depends entirely on what you think you're getting out of this challenge. I don't think I only speak for myself when I say: whatever you decide, we'll still be here and cheer you on!
Hi Ania! Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.
And I really appreciate your insight here, especially about what comes after the no buy period as being the most important thing. Your old ways sound an awful lot like my old ways and I also want to not go back to that. I want to be conscientious of what I buy in the future but also not as restrictive. I realize now that I really don't enjoy the whole buy/declutter/buy cycle...I'm looking forward to seeing what my after looks like. How are you finding it?
It’s so good to hear from you again!
I have thought about you and your strength to see this through often this year as I have failed again and again to resist going to the thrift shop. I just can’t seem to stop myself because, like you say, it does fill a creative gap for me, costs less and serves charity.
BUT I also feel rotten. I feel helpless in the face of consumerism and I really dislike the feeling that I can’t say no to myself. I also can’t stand the piles of clothes, fabrics and nick-nacks that have built up around the house and I can’t stand the thought of how long it will take me to sort them all.
Don’t forget how hard you worked to create space and freedom from unnecessary clutter. I am drowning in it. The worst bits are my kids’ closets, they’re just rammed with outgrown, worn out stuff but I don’t have the time or energy to deal with it. It’s so much easier to walk away. Then I find myself heading the to store to look for something that will solve all the problems. It’s so ironic!
I have felt for a long time that I NEED to follow your lead, and your admission that it’s hard and boring and feels uncreative at times is the kind of realism
I need to get my head around for it to be sustainable.
I haven’t bought new for years but even online secondhand retailers soak up so much time and energy and I still don’t feel great in the clothes I buy because I’m disappointed really by what’s on the inside.
I’m working up to sorting out my nutrition, physical fitness, mental reliance and wardrobe. It’s probably too much to take on all at once but I am getting better a little bit each day with intentional choices around all of these things.
I still remember your granola, yogurt, walnut pomegranate snack - which I ate on repeat for a while - and how nourishing all parts of ourselves is important to feel success in any one area.
So I hope I’ve reminded you the your inspiration has spread far and maybe also that taking care of your body and mind can be creative and nourishing too.
So sorry about your wee dog. X
Hi Kate! I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. We've been in the trap of consumerism for so long that it's hard to break out of it, and that's the way it's been designed.
You mention online secondhand retailers and how you've been dissatisfied with those purchases...maybe you could decide to just shop locally for clothes for a while and see how that goes? You get to enjoy a nice activity and find items that you can try before you buy. And possibly use the time you would have spent looking online to tackle a small decluttering project? I know you didn't ask for any ideas, but this instantly popped into my mind and I figured it couldn't hurt to share.
You just reminded me of that yogurt bowl and I need to start making it again. I still do a yogurt bowl but it's just a little different (and honestly, not as good!).
Thank you for you kind words. I really appreciate them 💕
Thank you, Gillian, for your idea; I don’t mind ideas at all! Like you say, it’s in the design of these things that they are cyclical. I only got into online secondhand designer retailers because I was decluttering my own excess so I had an account and was frequently alerted to interest in items I had posted. This inevitably lead to having a wee look at what else was out there and before I knew it I was checking multiple times a day to see if my favourite designer brands were available… then getting in a hot panic when the ideal thing in the right size with only one available appeared and it’s a perfect storm.
I’ve spent the last ten days in the French Alps with no shops and virtually no online browsing and I feel so much better.
Last year I earned enough in online sales from a recent declutter to finance a creative writing retreat which changed my life. I know this has been a good thing and I know I want to continue on this path so each little step and reminder and prompt and reflection and shared failure or doubt makes it easier to move forward and away from the grip of consumerism. This is why your posts and inspiration have been so important to me. I know you have found it hard too but I just wanted to share that with you. There’s no pressure from me for you to post more often if it serves you to be offline, but what you share on here is always a lift.
If you are still looking for inspiration or motivation, I can offer you a place to stay and a friend in Scotland - if making a trip there becomes a goal for you. X
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Newness is so ingrained into us, it's hard to snap out of that. I can easily just not buy stuff but I'd love to know how to turn off the want for new things. That never seems to go away. Your lack of inspiration might be seasonal. We all get fed up of our summmer/winter (whichever season) clothes towards the tail end of the season and are usually looking forward to the new season, but the weather is not obliging.
Would a session with a professional stylist help? Or do you have a group of friends who could do that job for you? Not sure what your rules were, but what about a clothing swap? That would give the opportunity for newness without buying. You could do a one in one out rule for yourself, so your overall wardrobe doesn't grow.
But finally, know that if you bought something now, it would not be the end of the world. You have done so well. 10 months is a LONG time and should be congratulated as an achievement. Don't beat yourself up about it.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Helen. I think we're all just magpies at the end of the day and we need an occasional new and shiny thing to liven things up every now and then. But I agree that it would be nice to just turn that off and be wholly content with what we presently own.
Unfortunately, warm weather will extend into October for me, so no relief will come from being able to dig out my cooler weather clothes. However, I do have a couple of bins downstairs (1 has cooler weather clothes that I have set aside to consign this fall and 1 or 2 has items that I have put back for my daughter). I think I will pull those out and see if there is anything that I can pull out to use over the next few months.
I believe self-imposed boundaries are the hardest to abide by.
The feelings of guilt , shame,disappointment are hard to Iive with and reconcile when you feel like you can't maintain the restrictions .
As human beings, we seem to find it easier to follow guidelines, rules or boundaries when they are part of a collective agreement or even when we are "told" to do so, it gives as permission to complain and ,rebel against it without guilt or shame ,as it's then about freewill and self determination, now that seems contrary to the premise that as a free agent you choose to impose limitations or restrictions on yourself,but that's the complexity of us humans.
So,I applaud you for persevering in the face of your discomfort,and above all,for acknowledging the difficulties and miriad of feelings ,negative and positive of your experience.
Wether you make it to your self imposed goal of one year ,this experience would have been a positive one, as it's given you g further insights and maybe a different perspective about consumerism moving forward.
Maybe it's not just about not buying or acquiring stuff,but mostly about "how" we go about it.
Personally,I practice a twice yearly renewal of my wardrobe, where I buy a couple of new pieces either for cold or warm weather and at the same time I recycle a few pieces by donating or ,gifting on.
It's a balancing act, but Iin the end ,each one of us finds the path or way that suits you best.
Give yourself a star for what you have achieved in these last 10 months.
Warmest regards,
Maritza Burgos
Melbourne, Australia
This is a very insightful comment, Maritza. Although I'm not currently finding joy in the process, I feel close enough to the finish line to persevere, mostly to avoid the feelings you describe. I will say that getting the thoughts out of my head and in front of you all has really helped open a door in my mind. When it was just with me, I couldn't make heads nor tails of it all. I had a hard time being objective as I've been very "in my feels" lately. But hearing other people's thoughts and ideas has given me strength...who would have thought that sharing the struggle would make it feel like less of a struggle (pretty much everyone, ha!).
I’m really glad you wrote this and am grateful for your honesty. It’s refreshing! I wonder if an appointment with a stylist might make you get the creative juices flowing with your own wardrobe again? Thank you for sharing this - its a helpful reminder as I am in the beginning of my own no buy period.
So so sorry for your loss as well. I can’t even imagine.
Thank you, Sam. Good luck with your no buy period!
I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time! Do you still feel that social media would be too much temptation? I wonder if you could reintroduce that in a small way, maybe specifically to look for sewing patterns that excite you? Or could you use the joy of friends or family as motivation with a sewing gathering, pattern swap, fabric swap? Or even a clothing swap? Anyway, wishing you all the best, and sending heartfelt condolences for your loss. It's so hard to lose a family member.
Thank you for your kind words, and your suggestions. I have thought recently about removing a lot of the barriers that I've put in place, and your suggestion may be the perfect nudge that I need! I do miss seeing all of the sewing and styling inspiration.
Hi Gillian,
I was also very happy to see your post in my inbox. As a rebel creating forbidden restrictions never feels right for me. They just make it harder. Although I do rage quit things and that seems to work.
Your journey is very inspiring. The way you shared it was art in it self. The writing, photos, videos, curated capsules all styled and presented so beautifully.
There may be something new wanting to come out that is a deeper expression. Explore limiting beliefs about yourself and what your creative abilities might be. Art 🖼️ on❣️
Hi Ruby! I think I need a little more of your rebellious spirit in my life! I've actually been thinking about that a lot lately...how I get an idea to do something but I reach for the biggest goal that I can think of. It always seems ambitious, but like, doable, at the same time if I try hard enough. I can feel the satisfaction of reaching the goal but I gloss over all of the inconveniences that I'll need to experience to get there and whether I would still do the challenge if I considered those more?
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Your suggestion to explore my limiting beliefs about myself is very intriguing and definitely something to explore further.
Sell 2 pieces for every one you buy on Poshmark or other selling sites and start a side gig. You have learned what you need to know. It is not the owning of it. It is the sport. You have paid your dues. come back, Little Sheba! xox
Oh gosh Mary, I really wish I could be a reseller. I tried it once and it is not for me...something about all the stuff just waiting in limbo I think 😅
Also, love this..."It is not the owning of it. It is the sport." 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I was someone who was inspired to do a no-buy because of your no-buy, and I want you to know I will always be grateful for the gentle push I felt when I read about what you were undertaking. I loved that you were very clear about your rules and goals. I loved that you shared your thought processes along the way. Thank you for your willingness to share everything, including this update. For what it’s worth, I stopped my own no-buy right after the six month point. I gave it a lot of thought before I stopped. Mostly I was afraid of disappointing people, which was ridiculous. I was doing it for myself! I learned plenty about myself and my shopping habits during those six months. I discovered where I had needs, and saw where I still had too much. It was a great experience, but I just felt “done” at six months. I have no regrets, and I am proud of the work I did during that time. All of this to say, you are the boss of you. You get to decide when you’re done. There isn’t really a finish line to any of this work. I think you’ve done amazing, life-changing work, and you’ve inspired a whole bunch of people along the way! PS I was so excited to see your post show up in my inbox!!
Vicki! Congrats on your no buy! Isn't it wild to not shop for 6 months?!? Thank you for your words of encouragement. As a people pleaser, I can definitely relate to that fear of disappointing others and thank you for the reminder that it's all up to me. My gut feeling is that I will continue but I think I need to make some changes. I think it's time to maybe remove some of the barriers that I've put in place which I think will be useful as a way to slowly reintroduce those things that used to trigger me to shop, but also to open up room for inspiration to come into my life again.
Hi Gillian ❤️ I’ve just read just post and felt compelled to leave a comment. I completely understand what you mean and that’s exactly the reason I ended my No Buy Year after the six month mark. (If you want to take a look, I wrote about it on my newsletter, my reasons for “quitting” and all). When clothes/fashion are something that brings you joy, removing yourself from all of it to avoid temptation can be tricky and feel like proper isolation. I was nodding and relating the whole time I was reading your post! I am sure you have learned a lot about yourself, your style and your shopping habits during this months and that is all that matters. A shopping ban can only do so much, but actually the real work begins the first time you set foot on a shop after that!
Also sending you all my love for Kaya 🧡 I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Cynthia 🧡. And I think describing this feeling as isolation is so spot on. I do feel like I will be much more intentional when I do start to shop again, which had always been the goal!
Love your authenticity in sharing this with us. I feel you in the struggle! I don’t want to rush into fix it mode, though some ideas popped up. It’s enough to witness your struggle and hold that space with you. If you do want some random ideas from a practical stranger, though, let me know!
Thank you, Sara! I so appreciate your kindness and support.